Invisible Exhaustion

Autumn Calvert
Jun 5
6 min read

Updated: Jun 27

When Life is Outrunning You.

Did you know the roller coaster was going to be a doozie, or was it a slow going ride that steadily increased speed until you were doing spirals? Life has its own way, and when we are making decisions on the fly, it can take over what we hoped life would be.

Maybe there is nothing catastrophically wrong. You are paying your bills, have friends, family, and everything looks like you should be in the prime of joy — but joy is not what you find. It is the daily grind of doing the next thing and the next thing until those next things become the story of your life.

You could even struggle with uncovering what joy means to you. And remembering what you have done in a day is condensed to your calendar and to do lists.

That is invisible exhaustion. It is sneaky, and you do not always notice it is happening. You just wake up one day and realize that this version of you is very different than the person you recognize.

Understanding Invisible Exhaustion

What if there are roses around you and you do not even know it? You cannot stop and smell them if you do not even know they are there. That is what invisible exhaustion is like.

Imagine you are running from something — maybe a bear or a lion. Your vision instinctively narrows to what is in front of you. This tunnel vision has a purpose. It keeps you focused on getting away from danger quickly. However, constant stress is not a bear or a lion. It is a culturally accepted way of living life. Do more. Be more. Make more. This constant pressure, either externally or internally, can lead your brain to believe it needs safety.

That tunnel vision is why you cannot see what is happening around you, and it is why you do not fully sense the exhaustion. It is why the roses go unnoticed.

Chronic stress leads to diminished joy, curiosity, and connection. You may be setting them up and knocking them down day after day, but the zest of life is gone (Psychology Today, 2026).

Am I Talking About You?

How can you notice something that is invisible? If superhero movies have taught me anything it is that just because you cannot see it does not mean it does not have mass. So let's throw some flour on that mass so we can make out the form.

Invisible exhaustion shows up in sleep patterns, racing thoughts, body fatigue or pain, or a lack of desire to do the things you normally do.

Maybe you have a hard time going to sleep, staying asleep, or getting up in the morning. Your thoughts could bounce around like a Chihuahua on caffeine. Those shoulders could double as earrings. Maybe you have pain that doctors cannot diagnose. Sex could seem like a chore, and that hike you used to love may feel like a dreaded extra box on the to do list. Also, did you forget to eat today? Or did you eat and forget what you ate? It could be that your friends have stopped calling or texting to invite you to events they know you are too busy — or just don't want to — attend. And all those viruses going around? Yep, they always find you, take you down, and you cannot figure out why you keep getting sick.

Oh. And by the way. Screw the dishes. You will do those tomorrow.

All of these could be signs that you are up against an invisible foe. Do you see it now?

You see it, so now what?

Get off the ride. Turn your back on the floured up mass and look around you. Mindfulness is a term that is thrown around all over the place these days, and surprisingly, it earns its popularity. In the simplest terms, mindfulness is the mind and the body being in the same place at the same time. Basically, your body is where it is. It is not in the future or in the past. It is right here breathing with functioning organs. If your mind stays with your body, then it is not outrunning a bear, a lion, or an invisible foe (that is, unless there is an actual bear on your heels).

How do you do it? It is the easiest and most challenging thing ever.

Breathe. On Purpose. Right Now.

Breathe in and feel the air in your nose going in and out. What is the temperature of the air? Can you feel it moving into and out of your body? And speaking of body, what is your body doing? Put your hand on your chest and feel the motion of your breathing. Is that not cool? If you focus, you will feel the bones and muscles in your chest moving.

Is your brain doing what it is used to doing? Is it being a Chihuahua right now? That is totally fine. Just acknowledge the thought and move your mind back to your breath.

Do one thing at a time.

When you are working on a project, work on the project. Your mind may want to think ahead, but remind your mind that everything has its turn. Next time you are washing those dishes you did not want to do in the first place, practice this. Your mind may start bouncing again, but refocus on the dish, the water, the plate. Let your hands tell you what it feels like. Your eyes can make out the colors and textures. Your nose can tell you what this process smells like — and it does not have to smell good. Listen to the water when you turn it on or when it splashes on the dish.

And by the way, where are you?

Right now, describe the place you are in your mind. Are you sitting? Standing? Is the floor hard or soft? Is there window light or overhead lights? If you want to get super fancy — do you feel the weight of your body in your feet, or on your bottom if you are sitting? Is it heavy?

Make your to do list before bed and worry about it tomorrow.

Want to know what else, besides the dishes, you can put off until tomorrow? The to do list. There is a time for everything, and that list of things racing through your brain is not a great bedfellow. Remind yourself that the bed is for sleep and other good things. Worry has no place here. And if you notice your thoughts racing — guess what? Focus on your breath, where you are, your weight on the bed, and how relaxing it is to just lie down.

Conclusion

By now you may realize that you have invisible exhaustion nagging at you. Maybe it is more than just a nuisance. It could be having real effects on your life. And there are ways to address it.

Just because something is invisible does not mean it cannot be dealt with.

You are up against something real in today's culture. Most folks are clamoring after things they think will make them happy only to realize they had them all along.

But here you are. The foe is floured and you have a plan. Stay present and give yourself permission to rest. It is the simplest hardest thing to do.

And if it is a little too hard to do on your own, seeking a therapist to help you carries no shame at all. It is a meaningful place to start.

Now get off the roller coaster, go throw some flour around until you see the foe, and shut that Chihuahua up. You have roses to smell.

If any of this resonated with you and you are ready to talk to someone, Wildwood Counseling offers a free 15 minute consultation. No commitment. Just a conversation. Reach out here.

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